How to deal with step-children?
I have been a step-mom for 11 yrs now. I want to like my stepchildren but they won’t let me. They are connivng and disrespectful. I have tried to be good to them but they refuse to be good to me. I am at my wit’s end. They say I am more like a mom than their own mom but then they turn right around and say thing’s against me to their father.They tell him thing’s I have said to them but totally different from what I have said . I need to know how to deal with this situation cause I am at my wit’s end.
I am a stepmother of 13 years and I found only one solution to the disrespect and the “playing the stepmother and bio-father against each other”, and that is to have the support of their father. Without it you are always wrong, never good enough, a liar, mean to his kids and left feeling quite alone. By supporting each other you alleviate the black hole where manipulation and disrespect happen.
Even then, you will always be out of the loop if they want it that way. I don’t put too much emphasis on winning or losing in our house, just on how the game is played and it is played with respect and kindness or not at all.
Keep loving them and stand your ground. Also hug yourself once in a while….you are doing a good job because you sound like you care. Life would be so much easier if we didn’t care, didn’t worry, and didn’t stress over our Families happiness. Kind of like MEN! Cafemoms.com has great groups for stepparenting!Good Luck!
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