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Hello Largerfamilies.com Community!

It's been a busy few months. Between an active summer, a move to another state and finding out we're expecting another baby, I've been swamped. And then there was the enormous influx of spam that attacked our comments boxes, making it impossible to approve real comments because they were buried in the junk!

In the interest of making Largerfamilies.com more user-friendly for everyone, we've decided to switch to Wordpress, a platform that more of our users and readers should be familiar with and that will give us more control over security and other issues.

We're planning lots of fun new interactive features, including our brand-new message boards. We'll also be looking for even more ways to get our readers involved with guest posts and community discussions.

The site is still under construction, but I'd like to invite you over for a sneak peek. Please feel free to register a username and jump into the discussions on the message boards. If you'd like, you can also register in the Wordpress area so you'll be able to submit guest posts and receive updates.

Thanks for your patience as we've sorted all these issues out. We can't wait to see you over at the new largerfamilies.com!

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Best,

Meagan Francis, founder
http://www.largerfamilies.com

In case you've been wondering what in the world we're up to here at largerfamilies.com, don't worry--we're still here, and still planning behind the scenes to improve largerfamilies.com for all our users. Stay tuned and if you're a registered user, look for an e-mail from me explaining the changes within the next couple of days.

This year we camped at a state park for our vacation. This is nothing new for us; it was the vacation my parents always took with us when I was a kid. It’s flexible, inexpensive, away from home, and usually has amenities like hiking and swimming. My kids love the dirt factor and the chance to explore nature. Each summer, my husband and I usually take our family to a weeklong medieval re-enactment festival several states away. But this year, money was tighter than usual, and we decided a state park camping trip was a better option.

We reserved campsites at the same time as my parents and sister, and we chose campsites near each other so we could socialize. It gave my kids a lot of quality time with their grandparents and aunt in a setting where no one was worried about vases breaking or furniture being written on. We spent long, lazy days at the beach, while the kids played in the sand or explored the water’s edge. Admittedly, this was much more challenging when I had toddlers, and I would not have considered it a relaxing vacation then, but with my youngest baby being four this year, it was perfect.

One day I couldn’t help but notice a very cute and engaging baby with his mom at the picnic table next to us. It turned out his sister was not only the very same age as my youngest, but she also had the very same name. So while they played in the sand, I got up the courage to talk to the mom. "How old is your baby? Is he your second child?" I asked. Imagine my pleasure when she laughed and replied, "No, he’s my fifth." Her oldest four were approximately the same ages and spacings as mine. We found plenty to talk about.

We compared notes on how many larger families we thought we had seen there that week. It’s sometimes hard to tell at a glance if a group of children with an adult or two constitutes a family. During the weekday mornings, it might be a daycare or a summer camp on a day-trip to the beach. And to be fair, many families camp with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, so I explained away some larger groups as being made up of a wonderfully kind auntie and uncle taking all the cousins to the beach while their parents cleaned up at the campsite. Those possibilities seemed most likely, I thought.

But maybe I have conditioned myself not to expect to see large families. I’m used to feeling like mine is the only one around, unless we’re socializing with the few families we are fortunate to know in our area who have four, five, or six kids. I’m used to feeling like my family is different, and I wonder if I cause myself to feel like an island much of the time.

And yet, when I later looked more closely at some of the groups I had assumed were not families, I changed my assessment. That was definitely a dad playing with his special-needs toddler in the water, and those children frolicking around him were definitely the sisters and brothers of that child. The level of intimacy and loving interaction among them was unmistakable. How many in that family? (And more than one child with special needs as well! Hats off to them.) When they ran back to the picnic table for lunch, doled out by what had to have been the hardworking mom, I counted seven kids. But I might have missed one or more; I know sometimes older kids (who don’t hover quite as close) are harder to recognize as part of a family. And then there was another family walking back from the beach, six kids, had to be siblings – they looked alike, and looked just like the two adults with them, who must have been their parents. And that group over there...one, two, three, four...and look, there’s the teenager, keeping a bit more distance but still connected. If the parents weren’t so focused on keeping their littlest ones safe near the water, and I wasn’t doing the same with mine, I would love to strike up a conversation with them.

Though in truth, I think I felt kind of shy. I was afraid of having guessed wrong. I didn’t want to hear those oft-heard words coming out of my own mouth, "Are they all yours?" I didn’t want to distract from the joy these families were having, by interrupting the flow of their play with their children. I know all too well how tedious it gets, answering that same question over and over. And yet...maybe they, like me, would feel buffered knowing that they were not alone.

It was so validating to see so many families vacationing with their hands full of children. Friends of mine with one or two kids often tell me that they think I am very brave for camping with my four. But I’ve been camping all my life, and all my kids’ lives as well. And four really doesn’t seem like all that many to me, most of the time (although I can imagine it must seem like a lot to them, just the way I sometimes feel thinking about families of eight or twelve).

So if you see me at the beach some year, I’m the one who is too busy watching her own kids to ask you about yours. But if you have a minute, and want to ask, I would welcome the chance to have a conversation with someone with another large family.

We're still enjoying a lazy summer, but I thought our readers might like to read my post about big and mega-big families--and other people's violent reactions to them--on my blog. Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

If we had tons of money, where would we go? What hotels would we stay at? So, since we can't ask those questions, we just reserve a campsite.....the only years we didn't camp were when we were close to having a new baby, or when Ben got in one of his accidents...(one was fall-off-a-party-boat, hit the propeller, the other was smash into a tree on a 4 wheeler)....so basically every year for the last 24 summers, we have gone camping. This year our oldest will only join us for a few days, since she is a nurse....and Ben, the third oldest, probably can't come, as he is a pizza delivery boy....so, that leaves 16 of us. Our camper is made to sleep nine...so Paul and I and seven of the littler ones are lucky....the other seven will sleep in 3 tents...the camper is 35 ft. long, 15 years old, and we tow it behind the 15 passenger van....goodbye gas money. We also will bring the pickup truck loaded with bicycles....(we live on a busy road, so riding their bikes is a special part of camping for the younger ones.)

Obviously, our family hasn't always been so big...the children came one at a time. We used to be just a normal family, going camping. Now: we are synonomous with the circus pulling in....the kids are restless and excited when we get to the park, so we let them all get out of the van and sit on the picnic table as daddy backs that huge camper into the small spot, between the trees and fire-pit....it just adds to the fun when the neighbors, staring already at all the kids, come out to give him a few pointers...

We camp up in the Adirondack mountains. It is quiet up there. Most people like that. We try not to ruin that. One year, Paul, my husband, had to make the 3+hour ride back home to have a root-canal, then he came back up that night....I remember I had a new baby in the baby swing with a bug net, and 2 or 3 kids practicing their band instruments, the saxophone, trumpet, and clarinet....our neighbors either love us or they hate us. Naturally, I hope they love us. I try not to scream for the child I need to speak to, and I chew them out as softly as possible, when I remember to. I remind them to keep their voices down....but come on, we have 11 girls, and beleive me, they do their share of fighting.....the boys are much quieter. Just play their guitars....no electricity, though, so no amplifiers...

Everything about camping with so many is a challenge, from who sleeps where (everyone wants the "piggy-hole", which is the bottom bunk of the triple bunks), to the clean sock dilemma....if we pack clean socks for each person for each day, that is 144 pairs....ditto the underwear, but two wear diapers...and some wear pull-ups to bed...oh dear, we have to remember the can-opener, the grill to put on the fire-place, some pans, wipes,sand toys, pillows, matches, coffee, a hairbrush, sneakers and sandals for everyone, jackets, wind-pants, pajamas, a playpen, stroller, portable highchair, tableclothes, washclothes, ..... and food. I am tired already. I will be sure to write about this year's camping adventures on my blog..

http://www.16blessingsmom.blogspot.com/

If vacationing close to home — or “staycationing” — is the newest travel trend, I’m waaaaaay ahead of the curve.

We almost always stay home for the summer. I say “almost” because there have been two exceptions: In 2003 we drove to Niagara Falls because the kids were complaining that they’d never been to another country (hello, Canada!), and last week I had to research a couple of family travel stories and so we went to an old-fashioned amusement park and careened down a snow-less ski slope on a bobsled and spent a night in a tree house. It was way cool. All five of the kids loved it. My husband and I did, too, but I think that, while the kids came home re-energized after our little adventure, we parents were more exhausted after our “vacation” than we had been when we left.

With gas prices skyrocketing and airlines imposing new and bigger fees for everything from checked baggage to warm soda, “home” is becoming a hot travel destination. Hotels are marketing “getaway” packages to their local clientele. AAA offers “Drive Vacations” to make road tripping trendier (even with gas costing more than $4 a gallon, it’s still cheaper to drive than fly if you’re taking kids along). Camping and hiking have become popular again.

But for some of us, staycationing has always been the norm. Yes, gas prices are high, but stress levels are even higher when you cram five kids into a car and hit the road for hours at a time. Add in a handful of food allergies, which makes it impossible to indulge in fast food during the trip, and stress levels can reach a whole new high. And if any of your kids are still in diapers, it’s worth noting that hell hath no fury like that of a preteen stuck next to a toddler with a blow-out.

(That didn’t happen this trip, thank goodness.)

The biggest upside to staycationing, for me, at any rate, is that I know the territory. There was a point in my life where exploring a new city would have made my heart go pitter-pat; lately, though, just the chance to avoid the daily commute makes me giddy. I live near a big city — there are plenty of museums to visit and cultural events to attend; they’re close enough to do easily if I have a few days off, and far enough away to be impossible with my regular work schedule. Staycationing gives me a chance to take advantage of the things right in my own backyard… why deal with packing and plane fare, especially during one of the most crowded travel times of the year?

Do you have summer vacation plans? Or will you be staycationing this summer?

Lylah is a full-time editor, part-time writer, and mom and stepmom to five kids. She writes about work-life balance at The 36-Hour Day and blogs about writing at Write. Edit. Repeat. This post originally appeared on Work It, Mom!

It's July, which means many of our regular posters are on summer vacation! In the meanwhile, we'd love to hear abut your summer--going on vacation? Hanging around the house? Shuffling kids to camp and sports? Submit a post here. Don't forget to register first.

When we had four kids, we planned a vacation at Cedar Point. We booked a three day stay at the amusement park, spending two days at the park and one day at the water park next door.

Upon booking the hotel room, we were told that this was the last time we could stay in one room together at a hotel. Our youngest at that time was 1, so she could share a bed with us.

The third day schlepping the double stroller through the hot sticky park, something clicked for my husband and me—why were we at an amusement park with a double stroller? Our older kids didn’t like roller coasters, our younger children were too young to enjoy much of anything, the hotel room was too small—this was not the vacation for us.

A couple years later, we took a trip to Traverse City, Michigan. We stayed at Great Wolf Lodge. This was a much better vacation for us, now with five children. The hotel has rooms for up to 8 people, so our room, while large, was not the largest rooms available. The kids stayed in a loft area with bunk beds and their own TV. My husband and I had the baby with us, and there was a fireplace, couch and living room area in addition to our bedroom.

There was also a water park in the hotel, and we spent our first day in Traverse City in the water park. The next day, we took a leisurely sightseeing tour of the city and surrounding areas. We had a good time setting our own agenda and hanging out as a family.

This year we’re hoping to try camping for the first time. We’ll let you know how that turns out!

It goes without saying that those employed in the creative, motherly arts are at risk for burnout. Mothering can be a high stress occupation, even though it offers the best benefits, hands down.

Years ago I discovered Julia Cameron’s Artist Way and learned about Artist Dates. Cameron’s premise is simple: one hour of pure unadulterated “me” time per week will refill your well of creativity and bring clarity of purpose. Now for many mothers, finding ten uninterrupted minutes alone in the bathroom is a challenge. How on earth can you find sixty minutes just for fun? Well, it’s not going to be easy. In fact it will be nearly impossible unless you schedule and plan for it just like you do for your children’s activities and household errands. Yes, Mom Dates are just that important.

One of my most memorable Mom Dates was a wonderful gift, courtesy of a dear friend who took over my mothering responsibilities for six hours. During that time away, I engaged all my senses -- sight, touch, taste, smell, hearing -- and returned refreshed and rejuvenated. It was glorious!

However, most of my Mom Dates are not that spectacular. Solo parenting makes the logistics of even weekly, one hour Mom Dates a challenge, so while Julia may not approve, I have learned to modify them a bit for the sake of my peace of mind:

Yarn Shop Drive By -- My favorite yarn shops all have comfy couches and encourage patrons to sit and knit for awhile. Whenever I can, I pop in for a quick knit. You’d be surprised what even 20 minutes surrounded by beautiful yarn can do.

Brew a Pot of Chai -- Grinding the spices and slow brewing tea for chai can be a relaxing experience. I let the smell and taste take me away and for a few minutes, all is right with the world.

The Whisper Game --When all else fails, and I need some immediate “me” time, I engage my children in this fun-filled activity. Everyone (me included) has to whisper, and if you forget you are "out." The last person whispering wins. The first ten minutes of the game aren’t very quite, as there are lots of requests for "do overs," but soon everyone catches the competitive spirit and I’m guaranteed a good 45 minutes of peace while they scurry around whispering to each other.

Challenge yourself this week and plan an hour appointment alone for a Mom Date. No nursing babies, no quick errands on the side, no short cuts whatsoever, just pure adulterated alone time doing something just for you. And if you can’t squeeze it in, at least play a few rounds of the Whisper Game.

--Me is a solo parenting, unschooling, mild-mannered mother of 5 by day and an Internet maverick by night. Read her musings at WabiSabiMe.